My brother Andrew

One thing about the Children of God is that there was a lot of free love, meaning everyone was encouraged to "love each other" have sex, make babies, etc. So when my mom got pregnant for the fourth time, she wasn't quite sure who the father was. She was quite positive it wasn't my dads...meaning it was down to 2 other men who lived in our little commune we called home. Now both these men had birthdays pretty close together, not only that but baby was due right between the two dates. I remember mommy telling me (at age 4 mind you) that she had prayed about it and asked God to have the baby born close to it's fathers birth date.  Even back then I was pretty sure that was abusing the power of prayer and not at all what the Almighty had in mind. But He must have had a sense of humor because my little baby brother was born 2 weeks early right on his daddy's birthday.

 All 3 of us girls were thrilled to have a baby brother. We played with him endlessly until everyone started getting sick with all those childhood diseases. Luckily he didn't catch any of them and right when everyone was getting healthy again, the little guy came down with a cold. My mom took him to the doctors office for something to help him sleep better at night....the doctors were on strike so she had to wait in the waiting room for over 3 hours with alot of other sick kids. He developed pneumonia. And one morning I walked into my parents room as usual  and Andrew wasn't in his crib. It was then I noticed mom and dad crying on the bed...my only baby brother had died in the night at 9 months old. That's when I decided at the wise age of 4 not to have kids...so I'd never be sad when they died or left me.

Ireland is very Catholic and no matter how my parents begged and pleaded...they could not find a single cemetery that would allow them to bury a non-catholic baby. One priest suggested the back yard...that's when I learned the words "Sanctimonious Jackass".  Late one night they climbed a wall with a tiny little coffin and buried my brother placing a small marker above his head. RIP little brother.

With so many sisters I always wanted a brother. As I grew older I never had much use for boyfriends but all my very best friends were guys. I think I might have been trying to find that brother I lost.