Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Sex ED

6 is how old I was when I started learning how to pleasure a man. "When we have visitors, if it's a man, you should sit on his lap and wiggle around...if you feel his thing getting hard you know you're doing it right." Me: "But I don't want to sit on a strangers lap." Teacher: "You'll do it because you're a woman and you want to make men happy." Me: "Why?" Teacher: "You want to make your parents proud don't you? Make Jesus happy with you?" "Men will give a lot of money to a girl that makes them happy. Then you can share it with your family." Whatever...I wasn't buying it...but I didn't want mom and dad to be angry with me so I went along. I tried my best to dance sexy, like they showed me, taking my clothes off slowly. None of it made much sense to me except I found it all very unappealing and boring as hell. 

I liked playing outside, climbing trees, learning. Mom gave me a high school equivalency test when I was 7 and I passed. Reading was my passion but it was hard to get my hands on anything interesting. They only wanted me to read the bible (which I'd already read 3 times from cover to cover) or I could read David Bergs "letters" which all sounded the same. I wanted to ride my bike, run and hike then settle down at the end of a long day and lose myself in a book...a real one like Treasure Island. Instead they wanted me to sit on a mans lap and wiggle. Dumb.

David Berg wrote a lot about the end of the world, he predicted it was going to happen 10 years from today..."Oh cool" I thought...I'll only be 17! I mean, who wants to be old in heaven! But I've got to stop reading, I hear my mom calling me inside, it's time for another lesson. I wish I didn't have to go.